A YEAR in Review

Dudes. Dudettes. Guys. Gals. Chicos. Chicas. Homeys. Chix.

It has been a YEAR for F*** My Zits. Considering most new businesses or entities make it this far, I must say, HOW AWESOME ARE MY ZITS? Where have been, where will we go?

Last December: Introduction to my life, my way of living and what zits have done for me. I went sledding and met an awesome girl who became my long-distance girlfriend. She’s hot, and I’m so thrilled I’ll see her soon.

I got into arguments with teachers, popped zits, pulled public pranks, looked for new ways to treat zits and enjoyed a wonderful summer away from home…learning new ways to treat zits.

I rapped a little bit, ya know? Here’s another little taste of the flava.

Rollin’ for a year. Rollin’ for a year.
My zits rock the fly-by like they’re crusin’ in a Leer…

I got into a fight. I kicked some a$$. I gotta have the dollar signs, because that $h*t was MONEY!!!!

I’ve worked at multiple car lots. I’ve made some keep.

I fell in love, and haven’t acted like a doof about it.

I joined the football squad. Became a first year starter, and got to be part of school history.

In all of it… I rocked the zits with pride.


Remember when I went sledding? Remember that!? C’mon! Remember it!!!!!!!!! Oh the angst, oh, the battles with the mirror, oh, the high school drama.


Thanks for sticking with me. It has been a wild ride. Gonna do my best to make it even better in year two! I know I”ll be busier, I know the senioritis is going to kick in and I know that there will be many-an-adventure around the corner. I’m determined to get a job as a beer slinger for the Diamondbacks! No. No, I’m not determined.

But what I do know is that there was an odd band in the 80s and 90s called Timbuk 3, and they pretty much sum up how I feel blasting into December!



Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!

I’m gonna take some time off. I’ve never done it before. I know it seems people just veg-out and do nothing when they’re teenagers, but really, I’m always on the move. If I’m not doing something, I find or create something to do, but over the next couple of days I’m going to do nothing, quite literally. Maybe listen to some music, and watch a few movies, but I really plan to enjoy today and tomorrow and just unplug – completely. NO computer, no blogging, no texting, no cellphone (other than a call to Maggie), no car, no artificial sweeteners or preservatives. I kid. But I’m gonna unplug.

On Friday, heck yeah I’m gonna roll around in the Black Friday madness… I’m gonna go to stores and act like I’m buying a lot of stuff just to add to the synergy of economic repair. Now, of course I won’t buy anything. I generally wait to purchase stuff, do a lot of online shopping and online auction purchases…BUT seriously, if you’ve never done it, go to a store and act all excited about being there and shopping, and people around you will catch your wave. We’re all made up of the same stuff. Consumerism. Again. I kid.

So. Enjoy the turkey, turducken or whatever crap you like to feast on for Thanksgiving, enjoy family, enjoy football, enjoy the parade, enjoy the nap, enjoy the pumpkin pie and whatever you do, enjoy my zits. Never forget where these morsels of awesome come from…that’s right, folks. Acne. Love to you all!

Tum is a Grum

In non-doof language, that means my tummy is grumblin’. For Thanksgiving. Yeah, I’m still days away, but my dad has been chatting about this epic turkey he’s gonna do this year. He’s going to brine it, and then smoke it for hours! Honestly, your tum is grum now, too, isn’t it? I don’t know what it is about us in America. Thanksgiving is really a stupid, stupid holiday for a people who are quite aware that many of us have become fat-a**es, you know?

I don’t know. I think we eat because we’re trying to fill some void. Trying to get to that place where we’re finally satisfied, and it never comes. I’m preached this message in my household. You must understand. My mom and dad both, “You have to find fulfillment in life’s small pleasures – in possessing nothing. You’ll never be satisfied if you’re always longing for more – if you never stop to smell the roses” Yeah, it’s some variant of that, and you know, I accept it as truth – not because mommy and daddy say so, but because I see it…everywhere.

My complexion for example. When my face is finally clear of zits, if it ever is – I’m starting to think it may never be – but let’s go with “when”…I still won’t be satisfied with it, you know? At that point, I’ll wish I could grow some certain kind of beard or something that I’m not capable of. Yeah, terrible example, but you get what I’m saying…a little bit?

Like those beautiful girls and women in movies, and as they’re getting older, and even the young ones, they’re pumping their faces and lips full of synthetic sh*t. Why? It frightens me to think of how aesthetically beautiful some of those actresses are, and that someone, in some way, is telling them they’re not beautiful enough. Just stupid.

OK. Tum is a Grum. Few more days!

Sippin’ the Kool-Aid

I was contacted this week by a couple colleges. One larger school congratulating me on my academic accomplishments and on my ACT score – I have no idea how they found that out…? Perhaps there’s a list of people without actually offering too much insight? And a smaller school congratulating me on a great football season, and asking for additional game tape. This came through my coach.

I guess some of these schools are sipping the Kool-Aid that is F*** My Zits. Stating that makes me sound really disgusting – zit flavored Kool-Aid. Does anyone still drink Kool-Aid? I used to drink that stuff like crazy as a kid, which may explain why my first few dentist visits were bad news, and why my mom cut that stuff off before I even hit pre-pubescence.

I’m a pretty good speller. You ever notice that? The power is in the zits. I believe they glean information that floats about the universe as energy, and I got the spelling energy. I say this because I don’t spell check. I know I make up some words that are no way “real,” but in my little world, they’re spelled correctly. That’s a sign of intelligence, ya know? Making up words? It’s true. Look it up.

Back to colleges. I’m doing an official college visit this month to ASU. It’s right down the road and I’m quite familiar with the campus and surroundings, but to get “into” the world will be interesting. Sit in on a class and see how they roll. I don’t have a lot of interest in going there. In December, I’m taking an official visit to Pepperdine in Malibu, CA, and I’m completely stoked about that. I’ve got a buddy who’s going to join me (and my parents) on the journey, but we’ll head over on a Thursday, then have the visit on Friday, and play in L.A. on Saturday and Sunday morning before coming back.

While I’m in Madison, I’m going to check out the University of Wisconsin, and get a lay of the land with a guide, even though classes obviously won’t be in session.

Applying to all three of these schools for sure. They’re kind of out there. I’m also looking into Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO, Denver University, University of Colorado, Texas Christian (TCU), and now a lot of smaller schools where I might be able to play football. I suppose I could and probably would walk on at one of the bigger schools, but realistically, I don’t know that I’ll ever have the instrument to play at that level.

Holy Zit! I Scored All-Conference Honors

I got to school this morning, and was immediately greeted by a few other guys from our football team to let me know that I was named 1st Team All-Conference Wide Receiver. Actually our two starters, myself included, were two of the three guys named–Tight ends/slot receivers were also eligible for the designation.

My coach got to me and congratulated me. Said that he never made enough mention of it during the season, but that I was one of the most aggressive, best blocking receivers he had ever coached. He said that the sentiment was echoed by nearly every coach from our league. I’m seriously honored. I may even score some All-District honors by the time it is all said and done. Sweet.

A rough week, followed by an awesome weekend, followed by good news that surpasses the Monday blues. Yeah. I can dig it. And we’re like 10 days away from Turkey and all the fixings…Aside from the heart being ripped out through the chest cavity on a football field, it has been a pretty great November.

My face is still looking pretty good. I’m 100 percent sure it’s happy to be out of my helmet on a daily basis. I’ve been focused back on the work against the zits and exfoliating away the funk everyday. I’ve decided I am going to run track this year. I have no idea what I’ll do, but I figured it would be a great way to stay in shape physically and in terms of competition. Where the heck did that come from? Zits? Track?

You know that movie Skyline that’s out right now? Yeah, I’m changing the subject again – any opinions on that? Ugh. Opinions on the movie, not my scrambled brain function.

Anyway, back to zits. How about a movie about zits? I’m kidding. So. The story of “Skyline” looks intriguing, but why do I feel like the writing is probably atrocious? I have no issues in stating that I’m a snob when it comes to the finer aspects of the film…like command of the English language in script form! Hmmm… I’m trying to figure if I might run over and catch a matinee after school sometime this week. If you’ve seen it and it sucks, let me know.

OK. I’m gonna cleanse the skin. Just gently get rid of some of this oil that has turned my face into an afternoon slick.


WHAT… …a Weekend

I’m tired. I laughed a lot.

We couldn’t decide where we wanted to go. We had two votes for the Grand Canyon (my suggestion), and two votes for the Colorado River. We ended up deciding on the Imperial Sand Dunes. I was cool with that, because I hadn’t been there since I was a kid, but I don’t think we took into consideration that we really would have a whole lot to do there without motorcycles, ATVs or a dune buggy. Our buddy was insulted, stating that his Suburban could do whatever those things could.

We did get his SUV into ORV mode and hit a few trails. Found a place to camp it. And when I say camp it, I mean we cooked over an open fire then slept in the truck, because it was freakin’ cold. I didn’t mind the cold as much as they did. Maybe because I spent so much time in it last winter in Madison, but they were whining about it all night. Every hour someone would wake up and start complaining to turn the car and the heater on. I had a feeling those pansies didn’t have the proper equipment for desert camping.

We ended up doing about everything you can do on sand dunes, and off-road trails in the desert. I think most of all we just enjoyed the quiet, when we were able to get away from the buzzing of dirt bikes and ATVs. I know that driving that way, the sunset was amazing, and on Saturday evening, we all just sat in silence and watched it drop. The dunes and the sand. It was just amazing.

We just got back about an hour ago. I ate, and figured I ought to let you all know that I didn’t die. No near death experiences, or anything so exciting. I did nail a buddy of mine when he fell asleep. He was razzing me about my complexion for about 30 minutes on our way back. Finding a way to make me a punchline to multiple jokes. He fell asleep in the front passenger seat, which is a no-no on a roadie. So, I took a marker to his face. That just never gets old, does it? I gave him about 90 blackheads.

Friday…Friday…Friday Night!

OK. So. This is the first Friday that I’ve really had the opportunity to do anything outside of football, while also having the heart for it. Some buddies of mine – we’re gonna do some wilderness camping this weekend. Maybe a little fishing somewhere nearbyish. May head over toward the AZ/CA border and mess around on the river. I can’t believe my parents said yes to it, but I’ve never really given them reason not to trust me. And I don’t intend to.

A good week at school. A lot of chatter about ACT scores, college options, etc. My guidance counselor took me aside today and said we needed to chat soon about my plans post-high school. I know she knows that I’ve got plans, but I’m hoping that maybe she can help me narrow some choice and refine my direction. I did mention that I’d be willing to go to a smaller school if it meant being able to play some more football. I’m seriously not done. I had a great time, was able to balance my workload and responsibilities on the team well. I think I can handle the next level. And I’ve only played for one year, so I’d like to see what level I might get to personally…see if I can really help a team win a big game.

Anyway, I also told her that if she had any suggestions on how to get into college zit free, I’d love to have those as well. She stared at me for a second, trying to figure out what I was saying, then it registered. “Ah, he’s a funny guy.” Well, you know me…

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned my buddy and his beast of a Chevy Suburban? Have I? If not. My buddy has a beast of a Chevy Suburban. It’s like an early 90s model that his grandpa had, and hardly ever drove. He put some big wheels and tires on it, and it’s a coveted machine amongst the our high school community. That’s what we’re taking out this weekend. We’re outlawing any GPS devices, and no cell phones during the day, with the exception of one scheduled call to our parents each day at 5:00 p.m. So, we’re all bringing a map, and right after school we’re gonna hop in the car with our gear and pitch our “this is where we should go,” idea.